Bittersweet Dreams
by videogameandanime-empress
Summary: After her grandmother passes away, Winry Rockbell has no choice but to make it on her own. Does success neccesarily mean happiness? After three years, does she still long for Edward? What happens when her bittersweet dreams become reality? postmovie EdWin
1. Pieces

**(A/N) Recently I've been obsessing over Ed and Winry being together. I've always liked the pairing, but lately it's been taking over my fanfiction. This is the first post-movie FMA fic I've written, and I'm going to try hard at it. I know there's more EdWin fluff in the manga, but it's easier writing based on something that's already complete.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist... wow... those images I just saw in my mind... just... wow...**

_Her heart ached at the visual of his face, the sound of his voice, his touch, his smell, as it all flowed through her mind tears raced down her cheek. Her feelings were so strong, it was nearly unbearable. Deep within her mind, there was a small flicker of hope, and faith. That someday, if only for a moment, they'd have their reunion. The feeling of happiness that overcame her she though of him, would mix with the thought that those wishes may never be fulfilled. She prayed that someday, the bittersweet dreams would cease._

Winry jolted at the ringing sound of someone opening the door, she quickly set down her tools, and headed towards the front of the shop. She wore a friendly, business smile, and was eager to greet a customer. Much to her surprise, however, the woman who had entered was wearing the blue military uniform Winry was all too familiar with.

"Good morning," Riza Hawkeye said cooly as she approached the counter Winry stood behind.

"Nice to see you again, Lieutenant..." she said, a hint of curiosity in her voice.

"How are you?" Riza said in a genuinely kind voice.

Winry sighed. Shortly after Winry's twenty-first birthday, Grandma Pinako passed away, and Winry left her rural residence behind. She opened a small auto-mail shop in Central, and rapidly gained a reputation for her high quality work. Despite her recent successes and positive attitude, she continuously got check-ups like this.

"Business is wonderful, the word is spreading around fast about my auto-mail and-"

"I'm asking about you." Riza cut off Winry's ranting. "I'd like to know how you, personally, are doing."

"Is Roy still worried about that time..." her voice trailed off as she remembered.

Not long after relocating to Central, there was a small celebration for her put on by her acquaintances from there. Everyone had known she was still struggling over the disappearance of Ed and Al, though no one had known quite how much. Roy walked her home, as it was quite late at night, and she had a breakdown, filled with tears and angst.

"Look..." she didn't wait for Riza's reply "it's been a month already. I was just... vulnerable right then. I'm fine now." her eyes were intense and serious.

Riza paused for a moment, and studied Winry's expression, "Very well."

Suddenly, the door swung open and a young boy with a mechanical arm approached Winry, "Miss Rockbell!" he exclaimed, "I think something's loose." he indicated toward his shoulder.

Winry smiled and patted a table, "Come here and let me take a look."

The boy smiled and obeyed. She looked over his arm and tightened a few screws, and ran her fingers over the metal. "Better?" she asked and set down her screwdriver on her work bench.

"Yeah, thanks!" he moved his limb around and headed for the door.

"Be careful.." Winry added just as he left.

"The children really like you..." Riza noted.

"Yeah," Winry laughed, "he's always having me fix little problems with his arm, I think breaking his auto-mail is part of his daily routine..." her smile faded slowly, "It's funny... his name is Edward." She laughed despite her sad expression.

Riza heaved a sigh, and the phone rang.

"Rockbell Auto-mail service, Winry speaking." Winry picked up the phone with enthusiasm.

"Is Hawkeye still there?" she could hear the annoyed voice of the Colonel on the other line.

"Hello Roy, yes she's here." Winry glanced at Riza.

"Well tell her we need her back in the office, pronto. It's an emergency."

Winry relayed the message to the Lieutenant and put the phone back to her ear. "What's the emergency?" she asked concerned.

"I finally found the right ring-" Roy had no time to say any more as Winry suddenly squealed into the phone.

"Seriously?!" she said happily, Riza had been so kind to her ever since her arrival in Central.

"Yep," Roy said proudly and then paused, "Oh, by the way, I have a cousin who's in his twenties. Not quite as good looking as me but.."

She giggled, "No thanks, Colonel. I'm not interested."

The day seemed to breeze by as customers came in and out. When closing time came, she gladly switched off the lights and headed to the small apartment upstairs. She hated to admit it, but she would go days without ever leaving that building.

Constantly, she was being told she was a prodigy, and a beautiful young woman. Her success and forced smiles made it appear as if she was as happy as a girl could be. Yet she continued to cry herself to sleep.

The loss of her grandmother had been traumatic, she was all Winry had left. Her parents long gone, and Ed and Al had taken off... probably for good, off in a distant world. The worst part of it all, the most agonizing thing, was that she hadn't realized her feelings for Edward until after he was long gone.

She was in love with him, no matter how she tried to deny it. The way she'd cared for Pinako or Al couldn't compare. It was an indescribable feeling, and the thought of never being able to express it to him, tore her to pieces.

**(A/N) Well that was chapter one, kind of depressing huh? Didn't intend for that to happen... it just did. The prologue was... interesting. It sort of ties together the beginning of the chapter and the end... right? Reviews would be appreciated, and don't worry, it won't be a pathetic tragic ending, I promise.**

Note: The rating is set as it is due to future chapters.


	2. Renewed

**(A/N) So, I finished my AU FMA fanfic, and I'm returning to this one. The first chapter in this story actually got a surprisingly positive response. Something like twenty five people have this on alert which is kind of exciting. That my story can gain such popularity with just one chapter, I mean. I'm going to try hard on this, because I'm aiming for something a little different than other EdWin fanfics. I'm trying to avoid the whole teen angst angle I've used in ninety five percent of my fanfictions... Wish me luck! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed would have taken off his shirt in several more episodes... Roy too... together... in the same scene... **

_She had once again dreamt of him. The feelings these dreams gave were both warm and comforting. The thrill of being able to see him again, caused her thoughts to be solely focused on him. Soon enough, however, the cruel thing we know as reality would awaken her. The spectacular emotions would subside, being replaced with an antagonizing loneliness. _

Winry sighed, squinting her eyes at the painfully bright light seeping through the window. She peered at the clock on her dresser, and groaned at the time it read.

It was merely six in the morning and she already felt awful. She tossed and turned, trying to fall back asleep, even if it would only be for an hour or so. She wanted to return to the dream world. She wanted to grasp that feeling again. Though she didn't get the chance.

The phone rang blaring loud, sending chills down her spine. She slid her sheets down to her waist and sat up, reaching for the phone.

"Hello?" She didn't bother with the cheerful, business tone this early in the morning, it was clearly a personal call.

"Winry?" the voice on the other line asked.

She whispered into the phone, "Edward..." her voice was barely audible.

There was an irritated sigh, revealing that the call was from Colonel Roy Mustang, which caused Winry's heart to sink. "I was going to ask how you're doing..." he paused, "but I suppose that answers everything."

Realizing how foolish she was being, Winry mentally kicked herself and then replied, "Why so early in the morning?"

"I wanted to know if you'd have breakfast with me this morning, before I head over to work." he stated.

"That's fine," she spoke slowly, "but why?"

"There are some things that I need to discuss with you." he said in a rather militaristic voice.

"Alright..." she agreed and they set the time and place at which to meet.

When she arrived at the cafe, Roy was already settled down at a table, glaring into a newspaper. It caused Winry to wonder, when was the last time she'd paid attention to the world around her? Sadly enough she couldn't remember.

She took a seat and the colonel folded his paper and set it down carefully as the waitress approached them.

"Have whatever you want, I'll pay for it." he said looking over his menu.

Winry accepted his gracious offer and they placed their orders. When the waitress had left Winry looked curiously at the colonel, why had they come here?

"I've told you before about my oath... that I will not to take orders I find unreasonable." Roy's serious tone was almost too much to bear.

Winry thought for a moment and nodded.

"A few years ago," he continued, "I received completely unreasonable command."

The oath he took, was after being forced to execute her parents. She understood that perfectly, yet still didn't know why he was telling her about this.

"The command was given to me.." he paused, almost hesitating to speak, "by Fullmetal."

Winry stiffened at the word 'Fullmetal'. Any mention of Edward put her on edge, and this was no exception. She remained silent, staring at the man sitting across the table.

"He told me to protect you," he shifted in his seat, "a completely ridiculous command. 'Why do I need to protect her?' I wanted to ask, but there was no time." he spoke solemnly.

"So that's why..." she whispered, only loud enough for her own ears to detect.

"At the time, I was simply an enlisted man, and Edward outranked me." He looked up into the sky, "Yet that's not the reason I obeyed him."

"It's because... you're friends..." Winry offered.

Roy laughed a bit, "Friends is stretching it, but... I did respect him." His gaze went back to Winry, "I still do."

After several moments of silence as they both longingly thought of Ed, Winry couldn't take it anymore. "So why... why are you telling me this?"

Mustang cleared his throat and adjusted himself, the Lieutenant and I, are both being transferred to Eastern headquarters... again." he mumbled the last part.

"Oh..." she said sadly. Roy and Riza were the closest things she had to friends, and now they were leaving too.

"I must fulfill my promise," Roy's expression change slightly, "but how is up to you."

"What?" she was thoroughly confused. "What are you..."

"You'll figure it out eventually," he said casually, "where's our waitress?" he muttered, annoyed.

"Roy!" Winry slammed her fist down on the table, "I demand an explanation."

Ignoring her, he asked, "I don't have time to wait for this, do want me to pay for your food before I leave?"

"I don't want your money," she stood up as did he, "I want you to tell me what you're going on about." she spoke fiercely.

"Either I find someone else to look after you," he turned and started walking away in the direction of HQ, "or we drag his ass back here so he can protect you himself."

It seemed like an eternity that she stood there, watching the figure of the colonel disappear beyond the horizon. Her eyes were fixated on him, her hair viciously blowing in the wind, but her mind was somewhere else. What Roy said, did he mean it?

He was going to help her, bring Edward back. No more dreaming, he would become a reality once again.

She scribbled down more and more things on the papers she'd been slaving over all that day. All of them had been smudged as she'd written them in a hurry between customers. Each stated the same thing, her thoughts.

_The worst part about the dreams, was the fact that they weren't just a fantasy. They were dreams that could very well become reality someday, but I wasn't sure. That was the most painful thing, tainting my hoped and dreams. My doubt. _

She crumpled the papers in her hand and threw them into her lit fireplace. The fire consumed the substance, the way Ed had consumed her heart. The colors flashed sparkles in her eyes, glowing with determination. She had cast away the thoughts she had written down, and would no longer hold on to them.

She was going to be with Edward, no matter what the cost, she would set things right. The things Ed had told her years before, finally made sense, and continued to feed the blazing, passionate, fire in her soul. Determination now replaced her doubt; her hope had been renewed.

**(A/N) Wow, that was different. At least I haven't doomed this fanfiction to a three chapter fate as I have done to many, many stories. Anyway, did you like it? I got a nice number of reviews from the first chapter and I'm hoping to get an equal amount for the second. Every review counts! I'm thinking I know the direction this story will head in, but as usual, I'm not sure. Guess I'll just have to wing it huh?**


	3. Value

**(A/N) It's sad, I've been neglecting my poor writing, as I've been obsessive compulsive over my drawing lately. However, I am now back, hopefully for good. Anyway, this fic is a lot more... how should I put it, deep(?) than the others. It's got a lot more psychological turmoil and what not, without being too emo. I'm surprised at all the reviews I've gotten so far, and it's rather exciting. Perhaps this story will become my best? We'll see.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned FullMetal Alchemist... oh, crap, I'm drooling again.**

_Day after day, night after night, she thought of him. She though of every moment they had shared together, and the dreams she longed to becom reality. To see his face again, look deeply into his eyes. To be content once again, to feel like everything in the world was right again. That was how Ed made her feel, like she was on top of the world. And like nothing could bring her down..._

Winry's eyes softly closed, before shooting open again. She reminded herself, over and over again, not to fall asleep. There wasn't enough time for rest.

She turned the page of the book. She was begining to understand some of it, the basics of alchemy. Though she didn't know enough yet, to come up with a valid theory. Alchemy was how Edward had come back to her world before, but it wasn't so simple this time. For one thing, there had to be transmutation circles formed on both sides of the gate, Roy had explained.

Not to mention the whole thing was incredibly dangerous.

Not that Winry cared, all that was important at the time was bringing Ed home, she needed him, his image constantly haunting her mind.

Her eyes slowly sunk again, the darkness, and the state of rest calling out to her. Her head slowly lowered down, until she lay it on the open book. Only for a minute, she told herself, embracing the feeling of sleep.

The door creaked open and Winry jumped up from her desk automatically. How could anyone get in? She wondered.

She had shut down her automail shop for awhile, to give herself more time to study, more time to search for an answer. To find _the_ answer. Who would have come in?

She walked into the front room, to find a shadowy figure in what appeared to be the millitary uniform. She flicked on the lights. "Oh! Lieutenant..." Winry exclaimed, smiling weakly, "Riza.."

Today was the day, Winry had realized, they were leaving on the train for Eastern Headquarters today. "The Colonel is outside," Riza explained, "he'll be in in a moment."

Winry nodded and then noticed something, on Riza's finger. It was the engagement ring. It made her smile softly, to see the way that the romance had blossomed between the two. It was so sweet, yet Winry couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

The Lieutenant caught Winry's glance and commented, "The wedding will be in a few months..." she shifted herself, looking away embarassed, "will you be attending?"

Winry brightened, happy for the couple, and ignoring her own personal envy. "Of course," she beamed, "and I'll make sure Edward is there too."

Riza stared at Winry and sighed, unsure of what to say to that.

"If only I could contact him," Winry continued, "and tell him to open up a portal on his side... then... maybe..."

Hawkeye interrupeted, "I've heard that kind of alchemy is dangerous." She cleared her throat, "Transporting between worlds."

"I know, but, I'm not worried about that," Winry spoke enthusiastically, "as long as I get to see him, no matter what happens to me I'll-"

Riza held up a hand, indicating for her to stop, "It isn't your saftey that would be jepordized." Riza explained, "Edward would be the one passing through the gate."

Winry's heart skipped a beat, her whole mind going into shock. How could she have been so selfish? Risking her life was one thing, but Edwards? She could never do that, she couldn't allow him to be in pain, especially knowing it was her own greed that caused it. The slight chance that he'd return to her, wasn't worth the risk of losing him all together.

This wasn't the only thing she'd been selfish with either, what about Alphonse? How could she completely disreguard Al and his feelings? Had she been that terribly blinded by love? Al and Ed had worked so hard, and suffered so much to be together. How could she allow herself to tear them apart? She couldn't imagine a worse scenario.

Tears began running down her colorless cheeks, and forming small blotches of moisture on her white tank top. She hadn't eaten much lately, nor had she been out in the sun. Her body was weak, and this was pushing her over the edge. Her own foolishness was bringing her downfall.

Her breathing became unsteady, and she began to shake lightly. This was worse than waking up from her taunting, tormenting dreams. A hatred boiled within her, a hatred for her own selfishness.

The sobbing increased, and Riza stood silently. Unknowing of what words of comfort she could bring.

The door swung open again, and Roy entered the room, a frown on his face as he observed all of the commotion. He began to speak, but Winry threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms around the Colonel, and burried her tearing face into his chest, "Edward..." she cried desperately, "I'm so sorry..." He was caught off guard at first, but Roy finally placed a soothing hand on her shoulder.

It was just like that night, the night when the disappearance of Ed had really hit her.

"The Lietenant and I," Roy paused, "we wanted to ask you, if you'd like to head out east with us."

"No..." Winry shook her head lightly, "no... I want... I want to go to the other side." She spoke, almost whispering, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

Roys expression fell, "The other side?" he questioned.

"The other side of the gate," she confirmed, "where Ed is."

"Out of the question." He said immediately, in a harsh tone.

"Please," she pleaded, now screaming, "please transmute me!"

"I said no!" his voice became more stern as he pushed her away. "Absolutely not."

"But why?!" Winry cried out viciously, her voice rasping, and her eyes once again filling with tears."

"Because I'm supposed to protect you," Roy yelled, "not send you to your god damned death!"

Winry stepped back for a moment, calmind herself before she spoke, "I don't care. I don't care if I have to do it on my own, I _will_ find a way to get there. I _will_ be with him, no matter what it takes."

_Her eyes burned furiously, with a sense of both conviction and passion. They blazed with determination, and yet gave off an icey glare. Her mind was set, that was certain. She was going to follow her heart, that was apparent. She was going to fullfill her dreams, at any cost. She was no longer going to expect Edward to come back to her, risking everything, while she gave nothing. She was going to follow the infamous law - in order to recieve, something must first be given. She'd give it all, she'd give everything. Nothing could be worth as much as the love she felt for him, nothing was of greater value._

**(A/N) Not really sure if this chapter was as well written as the others, but I'm sleep deprived, hungry, and sore. So, it's time for me to go to bed, and for you to review!**


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